Ashton Deroy writes: Listen to be completely fair about the purpose of this article. Which is to say **** off I am not joining the army. I was actually thinking about maybe joining Military life from my time at 10 Fitness until my time at HGS over the last summer. Here is the thing though, I put on a ton of weight at a very quick speed again. Then I really thought in depth about things. No one in my family has ever even had my back in regards to my health. I don’t have my own back as far as my health goes. From poorly established family supports to weight instability, mood instability & issues with aggression. I don’t need the army. I need to take it easy before my heart explodes! Plus I can’t even remember if it was my idea. I honest to god may have said I’d do it just to make my parents shut up because they annoy me that much about this. Here is the thing, I need to start saying “Shut the **** up!” You are not a recruiter, you are not my life coach & I have a boyfriend I want to be with. 

My birth mom must have pressured me about the army really badly the first time when I was 16. Then in my twenties, a lot of it was my Dad. On & off I said I was going to do it. Usually on when I didn’t have a boyfriend & off when I did. By 26 though I made a goal that I was either going to get the ball rolling. Or just start letting my family have it. You guys are heartless monsters! Tracy, you made your kid so uncomfortable at home with you he enlisted in the army and lost his shit. He has some rights to be pissed at you. Kimberly, You emotionally destroyed your kids with systematic abuse & pushed them towards the army. You are lucky they have you on Facebook as of now. Randy, you lost your job and never recovered & now you think the army is an easy answer, but look around more critically. Not a lot of army men & women are functional people. Your kids are already pretty **** up, so sit down, shut up & stop trying to kill them or sell them off! Tracy G , you have a warrior spirit. However, you were a recruiter trained in verbal judo, AKA high-pressure sales. I have told you yes in a conversation just to get you to stop talking about this. I have never held the army in the same high regard you have. 

While the rest of the world is trying to tell themselves lies that they can live with. I live very honestly, I’ve taken the time to introspect myself & think about the things that I want. “I’m not a soldier.” I’m just a citizen of a country where I scrape by. I don’t stop myself from cheating, I don’t care about the law of the land as-is & I think as an independent contrarian.

I’m just a citizen of this country. I am not exceptional, I am probably less than average mostly. I have no skills that would do me any good on a battlefield. I exercise, but not anything impressive. I used to be the turtle of my gym class. The last place was permanently reserved for me. Nothing I could really use in the trenches of war. I also am lastly not a patriot, sometimes I don’t even recognize my country. 

This is the exceptional Military fitness program summary:

Army fitness

Here is how I am doing. 

Good Flexibility 

  • I have runners knee that has been contributed to by being hit by a car & excessive running from ADHD. 
  • My back frequently causes a paralyzing amount of pain. 
  • I try to do yoga to manage these issues.

Strength & power 

  • I react slowly to most situations 
  • I can lift a maximum of 50lbs with my bad back
  • Carry heavy objects at long distances. (I avoid this at all costs) 

Aerobic fitness 

  • I won’t work for over 4 hours without a break 
  • My work declines in human fashion with fatigue. I can’t put the work before me.
  • Handle stress at altitude. Altitude exercises such as stairs caused me to vomit in Wrestling
  • Adjust to jet lag. I have no significant traveling experience. I have never adjusted to jet lag in any significantly productive way. In fact last time I took a long bus trip I was out for 4 days in North Bay. 
  • Resist minor infections & colds. I get colds with ease. 
  • Recover quickly from injuries. 100 minutes of exercise can take me out for 2 days. 

Maintaining a healthy weight. 

  • I am obese by medical standards. 
  • I am exercising though.
  • I could have heart problems. 

I am nothing special beyond fitness either. I am very technically unimpressive. Military people tend to be highly technical & even academic people. I manage WordPress websites. I have never used a gun! I am not even sure I should even give driving a try, I worry about my capacity to make quick decisions. I also instinctively will guide my decisions with anger day today. That definitely compromises my ability to handle daily frustrations in the army. 

What about my moral identity? I mean yeah I called out Fido for poor commercial practices.  Sure that was an easy right thing to do. However, I smoked marijuana before it was legal. I have pirated movies in the past in large quantities. Yeah they ask you about this stuff when you look to join the army & yeah I can’t answer morally. My dad taught me the cheap/free option is the best option because we are broke. That logic has made me great at immoral compromises with myself. 

I am not a patriot. It is important for military members to be bi-partisan & patriotic. No, I am not. I don’t trust my government. Premier Jason Kenney is a traitor. Doug Ford goes to war with the workers. In the military, I would be supposed to serve these guys? People I don’t even like. I am supposed to be law-abiding military personnel in their land. I don’t think so! 

Listen in coming to terms with my family pressuring me for the army I have to had to accept one thing. I don’t have a very smart family with value systems I would put in high regard. In other words, they are morons! I’ve lost respect for them in the context of this conversation. They saw a couple of people doing okay and they thought they should pressure each & every one of their kids to the army. I just want to be with my boyfriend & do my thing. 

A negative tribute to military people former & current who convinced me not to enlist in the army by: 

  1. Beating their spouses
  2. Committing Suicide
  3. Becoming dangerous people
  4. Beating their kids
  5. Pushing their kid to gay conversion therapy
  6. Becoming homeless
  7. Not sustaining meaningful relationships

I appreciate the service of our exceptional Military to though. Thank you to those helping Veterans with PTSD in & outside the army. Thank you to multiple Canadian Military members who have helped me eat healthier.  Lastly, thank you to Military members who advised me not to join as a means of preserving my life. The Military has some heroes & some villains. 

To those who may argue, “Oh your health can be better managed.” I’ve been hoping and trying to act on improving my health for years. I think at a certain point you have to stop trying so hard. Maybe you might say, “Your skills will improve with time.” Actually, I am noticing that my skills are rather stagnant in growth, not sure if it is an autism thing or just a completion of growth. For example, I am putting in a lot of effort on a lot of things right now such as reading comprehension, accounting & Kickboxing. Things aren’t really improving. In Toronto, I was told to consider going to University. However, as of now, I am just thinking I will stay out of school after this year & kind of accept my skills where they are at. Listen I know talents aren’t made right away, but I am just not improving anymore at all. Like what is here now, that is it. Even my counselor said, “I don’t see how counseling can help you any further.” Not that I am a perfectly healthy human being, I am just not growing anymore. I am stuck here… 

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