Written by Ashton Deroy
This is a blog post where Ashton Deroy talks about a preference to be socially withdrawn. Knowing the details about all social plans. As well as not having relationships forced on them.
The only people I tolerate Ghosting plans with me. Is people struggling with medical conditions. People struggling with medical situations can reasonably ghost plans with me because their reason is usually “medical emergency”. Ok. How can you dispute that?
The truth is I look forward to certain social plans. Like a lot. If you have plans with me and can’t attend. You should use manners and cancel the plans with me. This way I don’t spend my time waiting on plans that never materialize.
I would like the opportunity to be Socially Withdrawn when possible.
When someone makes plans to meet me somewhere that will be a group setting then decides not to go? I would like to know in advance so that I to can dip out of the social plans. There are some people as an autistic person that I should know spend time with without a support system. Most of these people are family. At 29, with a head injury & PTSD from a Second cousin without boundaries. I need to know all the information that applies for social plans. Then choose to make the best decision for myself.
Don’t feel guilty if I choose to be by myself. I probably should of starting socially withdrawing more at a younger age. I used to find myself constantly exhausted because of interpersonal conflict. Such as the interpersonal conflicts of family members judging my previous queer identity. As well as my struggles to keep a job. Eventually I internalized a unhealthy attitude about work that did not protect my rights. I just focused on working hard. That lead to me getting a head injury at Giant Tiger in 2020. That head injury lead to my downfall and eventual homelessness. As well as the implosion of various personal relationships.
How my head injury changed me? As a 29 year old with autism. I no longer think other people by default know what is best for me. An ex employer thought I would be in the work the next day. Despite the complications of an autistic Concussion. Since then I have viewed people a little more as opposition than I used to. Actually enforcing my own strict boundaries did eventually lead to me keeping good jobs longer, more emotional stability, the enjoyment of more quiet time & more Freedom.
I am an Introvert most of the day. An Extrovert at work.
Ashton Deroy 